Is this the real grass? Is it just fantasy?

Mummy gave us a pile of grass the other day.  It was sunny all day. She was out in her golf things as usual. When she got home it was too cold for us to go out.  It’s not fair, is it?  You agree with me, don’t you?  But she did go into the garden and pick some grass for us.  It was a big pile.  Well, Percy and Midge had a pile that was twice the size of mine.  But that was for two of them.  And Midge is twice the size of me anyway.

roscoe and Neville with fresh grass

On Saturday it was pretty dull and wet.  It wasn’t cold though.  Something called ‘the heating’ came on.  It made it very comfortable, especially in the early morning.  Mummy didn’t go out in the garden, according to Oscar, who sometimes tells me these things in the morning.  She took the rubbish out, but said it was raining. But in the afternoon she came round to all of us with a big tub of grass.  She gave us a handful each.  It was very dry. Very very dry, but it wasn’t hay.  It was green.  It smelled more like grass than hay, but stronger than fresh grass.  I ate some of it then left the rest for later.

Bertie and his hay

Percy says it’s called Ready-grass.  It’s okay, I suppose.  Not as good as real grass, but better than nothing.

I hate nothing.

Percy says I’ve never had nothing, so how would I know?

I just do, that’s all.  Ready-grass is okay, but not much like real grass.  It must be fantasy grass.

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It’s Colman’s day today

Hi, Bertie here.  I’ve been told it’s Colman’s day today.

colman
Colman in his bed

I didn’t know Colman, so I asked Percy about him.

He said he didn’t know Colman.  He died on 25th September 2015, which was a couple of months before Percy arrived.  He said Kevin used to talk about him, because he was Kevin’s friend.

Kevin with Colman

I didn’t know Kevin very well, so that didn’t help.  Percy said Kevin was much younger than Colman, which is why he looks so much bigger in this photo. It was taken when Colman was very old.  Colman was over seven years old when he died.

Wow!  That’s ancient.

Apparently Midge and Oscar knew him.  I asked Midge and he said he couldn’t remember, he was very young then.  Percy said “Pish.  I bet he remembers the birthday cake with seven candles.”

Colman’s 7th birthday 2015

Midge said “Oh, yes, I remember that.  He was the brown pig, lemon agouti it’s called.”

I’m silver agouti.  It’s a very handsome colour.  I expect Colman was very handsome in his prime.  He looks like a nice chap.

It’s sad nobody really remembers him.  Except Mummy.  I bet Mummy remembers him.

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bertie

Boring week

Hello, Bertie here again.  We had a very boring week.  We didn’t go outside once.  Not once!

It was either too cold, too wet, or Mummy wasn’t here.

Mummy was out yesterday too.  It was cooler than it has been.  She wore her thick grey coat she calls a sweater.  I don’t think it makes her sweat.  It just keeps her warmer.  It was funny in the evening, because it got warmer for a while.  She still wore her stripey sweater, though.

Breakfasts have been good though.  Here are a sample of this week’s breakfasts.  Well, one breakfast demonstrated by each of us.

roscoe neville

I met Roscoe and Neville last week

Hi!  Bertie here!  It’s been a busy week for Mummy but at least when she went out early she gave us lots of food, and most days she came back in time to give us a nice run in the garden.

I’ve met the two new boys, Roscoe and Neville.  Roscoe is white, and quite big, although not as big as Midge (nobody in the world is as big as Midge – although Mummy’s taller).  Neville looks big but he isn’t, he’s just very hairy.  Midge says he looks like Dylan from the front and Dougall from the back and he’s as shy as Dougall.  That doesn’t mean a thing to me.  Percy says Midge is right, though. Oscar says Midge is right as well, and Oscar hardly ever agrees with Midge.

Here are lots of pictures of us in the garden.  Mummy has some moving pictures too, which she’ll tell you about later.

Ten things I like

Bertie here today.  I didn’t know what to talk about.  Mummy said, tell people what you like.  Percy said make a list of ten things.  You don’t want to bore people.

So here is my list

  1. Apple.  We don’t often have apple. It’s delicious.  We had one yesterday. Mummy picked it up from the tree on the golf course.  That means golf is good for something.
  2. Carrot.  We get carrot most days but I never get enough. Percy says he and Midge don’t get enough either.  Biggles says Oscar gets lots, and sometimes another in the evening. That’s not fair.  Percy says it’s because Oscar needs to put on weight. That’s still not fair.
  3. My tent.  My tent is blue. It’s in my loft area.  I like to sleep on the fleece behind it, because it makes me feel safe.  I like my tent.
  4. Running around in the garden. I love running around in the garden.  I like the feel of the grass on my feet.  I like eating grass too.  I like the way the birds and things fly around above us.  It makes me feel good to be out in the garden.
  5. Running around in the kitchen. It’s fun running around in the kitchen.  It’s not as much fun as the garden.  If Mummy leaves the door open, I like to go out in the garden, but she tells me off and makes me go back inside.
  6. My uncles, Percy and Midge.  They live next door to me and they are good fun, mostly.  They get irritated by me sometimes too.  But I still like them.
  7. Can I stop at six, Percy?
  8. What about Mummy?
  9. Oh yes, I like Mummy too.  I like Mummy a lot, especially when she gives me cucumber – oh!
  10. Cucumber.  I like cucumber a LOT. 🙂

Bertie at home

There, I’ve done it.  I made a list of ten things.

What do you like?

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We got wet!

We were out in the garden on Saturday. Oh, I should tell you it’s Bertie here.  Anyway, we were out in the garden on Saturday.  We went out early, about 2 o’clock, because Mummy was here.  She’d finished the gardening she wanted to do.  Then she had a drink and was reading while we did the rest of the grass for her.  She says Oscar and I aren’t much good at mowing her grass, but I think we’re brilliant.  We do our patches all by ourselves.  Percy, Midge and Biggles share the workload on theirs.  What, Percy?  Yes I know yours is three times as big.  You still have help.

Anyway, I was saying about getting wet.  Mummy went upstairs to do something.  I think she forgot to come down again. We were there for quite a while, and it got even cloudier.  It had been cloudy before, but this was worse.  Then it started to plop little plops of water around the place.  It was like being in a mist, only bigger.  It settled on the grass and on the tents and the tunnels and things.  Midge told me to go in the tent and he went into his.  Oscar said he was fine up against the covers of the kale bed.  Biggles ran from the tent to the tunnel to the new big tunnel.  I think he went under the tent for a while.  Percy went in the blue tunnel.  Everything got pretty wet, but Midge decided it was still good to eat.  He came out and started eating again.  His coat was sort of wet on top, but he said he was nice and warm.  He said he couldn’t feel the rain.  I tried it, and I couldnt feel it either, except on my nose and ears.  Percy told us not to be silly, didn’t you, Percy? (-Yes, I did.)

Anyway, suddenly Mummy rushed out to see us, apologising for leaving us out in the rain, and thank goodness it wasn’t heavy.  She said she hadn’t done that since Fred, George, Victor and Hugo were young.  That’s a very very long time ago.  Percy said it was so long ago it’s the dawn of history.  He started talking about the difference between our time and Mummy’s time. I think he’s going to tell you about that next week. (-I will if I remember)

So that’s our big adventure this week.

By the way, my nose is better now… look.

PS We were all perfectly warm enough, and we’re fine today, thank you.

PPS It was Hugo’s day yesterday.  Hugo tends to get left out of Days, for some reason.  Mummy said to remember him when I did the post.  Here’s a photo.

Hugo on Mull