Things that go bump in the night

Hello.  Bertie here.  I’ve been very good this week.  I’m always good, of course. Sometimes Mummy interprets my behaviour differently from me.  She says I’m growing up.

Apart from Oscar, who’s insufferable, I don’t argue with anyone any more.  Midge and Percy seem to be okay with me checking up on them every now and then.  Mummy laughs because I use the same hand signals as Percy.  Well, of course I do, I asked him how to tell Mummy I was ready to go for a run when I’d had my cucumber. He told me to leap up onto her coat and pat the corner where her arm joins her body.  Now I do that and she knows it’s time for my run.  It works!

Usually the morning is the most exciting time of our day.  This week it’s been the evening, after it gets dark.  There have been lots of bumps and bangs every day.  On two nights we had a series of noises going bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.  Very deliberately and evenly.  I said to Percy I wished they’d stop.  He said he wished they’d stop as well.  Then they stopped.  They started again later.  There have been other bangs and noises too.  Mummy says its fireworks, there’s nothing to worry about, and she wishes they would just stop.  We get fireworks sounds from the hotel at the end of the village every Saturday and most Thursdays.  So we know by now they’re nothing to worry about.  But these were closer, and earlier in the evening.  Percy says he remembers them from this time last year.  We just have to put up with it for about ten days.  Mummy gets very cross about it, though.

So, that’s what’s been going on this week. Except that Midge lost a lot of weight this week, a whole 100 grams. Mummy’s taking him to see Auntie Shirley and Uncle Barry in a few days time. She says he’s nearly down to a normal weight for a guinea pig, so there’s nothing to worry about.  She thinks it’s his teeth, because he had so much gungy food in his mouth she couldn’t see them. That makes sense, sort of.

 

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Midge, Percy & Bertie floor time

I’ve been mistreated!

Bertie here.  I’ve had a terrible time this week. Okay, we went out on the grass for a couple of hours earlier in the week, but then it all changed.

And I mean CHANGED.

One day I was down having floor time in the kitchen like normal, and I came back to find my cage had gone! The bottom part was empty, well with white pads lying all over it, and none of my things.  Mummy put me in my loft – and the ramp had gone!  There was a panel across the top where I usually stand and watch her.  I found another ramp on the other side, but it was steeper and the wrong colour.  I couldn’t bear to go down it.  Besides, I didn’t know where it led.

After a bit Mummy picked me up and put me down a level.  Well, she tried to push me towards the ramp tunnel first, but I wasn’t having any of that. So she put me downstairs with Midge!  Well, that was a surprise.  I like teasing Midge.  We chatted a bit, and he grumbled a bit about having me mess up his nice clean cage. We don’t usually have clean cages midweek. After a while I went back upstairs to have a snooze in my tent.

Percy picks some grass

Later Mummy came back so I came down again. She put Percy in my other run, the one she’d covered with white stuff.  I didn’t see much of Percy. He hid in the zebra snugglesac, which smelled funny. Then Midge got all antsy about me being there, and told me off.  And I told him off, because Mummy had given me the ramp so she must mean me to use it.  And he said nobody asked him, and I said something else, and anyway we got into a bit of a fight.

Mummy took me out and put me in my loft.  She took the ramp away and put the other panel across.  So I was all caged in and in a tiny run.  I tell you, it’s mistreatment and somebody ought to pay for it!

I went out on the kitchen floor the next morning.  Percy didn’t come down. He was wobbling around my his cage like he was drunk or something.  He spent most of his time in his zebra sac or his tartan tunnel. Mummy took him downstairs on his own a few times, well lots of times. She brought us up some nice things sometimes, grass and things called clover. I had another run on the kitchen floor that afternoon, too.  That’s new.  The next day (Friday) was much the same, but Percy was more himself, walking around better.  He was eating hay and food too.  I thought I might get his leftovers like we had the night before, but no.

Saturday all went back to normal.  Mummy cleaned both parts of my run out and put my proper ramp back.  Percy went back to Midge.  They bickered a lot.  Midge was jealous that Percy had special treatment.  Percy says it’s very painful and you have to eat horrid tasting foods. He’s still got his lump.  You can see how big it is because his hair’s been cut off.  There’s a funny line across the lump; it looks like it’s been joined together somehow.  Percy says he’s had an operation but Dr Sally couldn’t get the lump out, so he’s keeping it. Well, if it’s his, why not?

Percy and his lump

So all is back to normal, Percy’s keeping his lump, and Mummy says Percy’s hair will grow back pretty soon. It’s not very pretty, though.  And I was only mistreated for three nights, shut up in a 2×2 cage.

Mummy says I should think myself lucky, I might have had to go in the 100 cage on a floor somewhere without any of my things.  That’s not nearly as nice.

Oh, all right then.

Percy seems all right to me. He hasn’t changed since Saturday.

 

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The garden run has been taken in

The report from downstairs is that Mummy has brought the garden run panels in. The small ones live in a canvas bag under the table, and I can confirm the bag is full of the run panels. The large ones are packed in the cardboard boxes. I can’t tell whether the boxes are full or not, but I expect that Biggles and Oscar are right.

September in the garden

It’s sad that we won’t be going out in the garden again until spring. We had a couple of afternoons out last week, because it was warm and sunny, and not too damp. Midge and I made friends with Roscoe and Neville, who are really nice chaps.Maybe if there are some really sunny dry days Mummy will put a small run out for the deserving few. But I suppose it’s only just over two months till the winter solstice, and we have to get used to it.

Mummy seems to be trying to give us extra floor time to make up for it, but she sometimes doesn’t remember, or she’s too busy with other things. Or it’s just too late when she comes in. Never mind, we still get pickings of grass every now and then, and readigrass most other days. I like readigrass. I don’t think Bertie’s decided whether he likes it or not. He’s a funny boy, that one.

Percy's lump

I’m finally going into hospital on Wednesday to have my lump done. Mummy says I’ll just have a nice deep sleep while Dr Sally finds out what’s going on inside the lump, and she’ll either sort it out if she can, or leave it if she can’t. I’ll probably have a sore cheek when I wake up, and the nurses will look after me until Mummy brings me home. I might feel a bit poorly for a while. It’s just to be expected. She’ll be looking after me and giving me tubefood if I can’t eat easily on my own. And she might put me in the small cage on my own so to keep the operation site cleaner, and not disturb Midge so much when I get my extra feeds. I’m glad I’m going to have something done to it. It’s a bit of a nuisance. I hope Dr Sally can fix it.  But if I have to have a lot of fuss afterwards, I’m glad Mummy waited so that I had a nice quiet summer out on the grass.

I’ll let Bertie tell you how the operation went next week. Although Mummy might tell you as well.

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Is this the real grass? Is it just fantasy?

Mummy gave us a pile of grass the other day.  It was sunny all day. She was out in her golf things as usual. When she got home it was too cold for us to go out.  It’s not fair, is it?  You agree with me, don’t you?  But she did go into the garden and pick some grass for us.  It was a big pile.  Well, Percy and Midge had a pile that was twice the size of mine.  But that was for two of them.  And Midge is twice the size of me anyway.

roscoe and Neville with fresh grass

On Saturday it was pretty dull and wet.  It wasn’t cold though.  Something called ‘the heating’ came on.  It made it very comfortable, especially in the early morning.  Mummy didn’t go out in the garden, according to Oscar, who sometimes tells me these things in the morning.  She took the rubbish out, but said it was raining. But in the afternoon she came round to all of us with a big tub of grass.  She gave us a handful each.  It was very dry. Very very dry, but it wasn’t hay.  It was green.  It smelled more like grass than hay, but stronger than fresh grass.  I ate some of it then left the rest for later.

Bertie and his hay

Percy says it’s called Ready-grass.  It’s okay, I suppose.  Not as good as real grass, but better than nothing.

I hate nothing.

Percy says I’ve never had nothing, so how would I know?

I just do, that’s all.  Ready-grass is okay, but not much like real grass.  It must be fantasy grass.

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Humphrey’s day was yesterday

Hello Percy here.  It’s my turn to do a remember post about someone I didn’t meet.

Yesterday it was three years since Humphrey went over the Rainbow Bridge.  Midge and Oscar arrived a few days later so they never met him either.

Humphrey

Humphrey was a sheltie type of guinea pig, with long, flowing hair, not like Dylan, Dougall and Neville’s because they are Peruvians, with long hair that has a number of whorls or rosettes in it.  It means Humphrey looks smooth in his photos.  Mummy think Roscoe has some sheltie in him, as he has medium length hair, but it doesn’t really show.  She says it’s maybe one reason he reminds her of Auntie Dawn’s Saku.  I never met Saku, either.  Shelties are known for their calm, laid-back temperaments, and Humphrey got on with everybody, even Hector.

Humph and Hec

Like Roscoe and Neville, Humphrey and Hector were left all alone in their house when their owners moved away.  Fortunately for Roscoe and Neville, someone found them quickly, but Humphrey and Hector were starving when they were found a month later.  Humphrey was always very grateful that Mummy was his new Mummy.  He used to look at her as if he couldn’t believe his luck.  I know what that means.

Humphrey started getting very thin, although his body was still fat and his weight was fine.  Mummy took him to the vet a few times, and eventually the vet found a lump growing inside him.  It was too large to have an operation, and he died the next day.  He had a very peaceful ending.  He was a very peaceful person.  I’ve been told all this by the piggies that went before me.  Everyone liked Humphrey.  He’s in the picture on the front page, lined up with Victor and Dylan and Dougall.  Victor lived with him until he died earlier the same summer.

Talent Seekers and Humphrey

Mummy’s been watching my lump carefully.  She says Dr Sally and she have decided to let me have an operation on it Wednesday fortnight.  I think I’m looking forward to it, sort of.  I’ll tell you all about it in afterwards.  I’ve got another post to write before that, though.

 

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roscoe neville

I met Roscoe and Neville last week

Hi!  Bertie here!  It’s been a busy week for Mummy but at least when she went out early she gave us lots of food, and most days she came back in time to give us a nice run in the garden.

I’ve met the two new boys, Roscoe and Neville.  Roscoe is white, and quite big, although not as big as Midge (nobody in the world is as big as Midge – although Mummy’s taller).  Neville looks big but he isn’t, he’s just very hairy.  Midge says he looks like Dylan from the front and Dougall from the back and he’s as shy as Dougall.  That doesn’t mean a thing to me.  Percy says Midge is right, though. Oscar says Midge is right as well, and Oscar hardly ever agrees with Midge.

Here are lots of pictures of us in the garden.  Mummy has some moving pictures too, which she’ll tell you about later.