In which I interview myself

Way-aye, Roscoe here. It’s been a nice week, because we went out in the garden most days. And Mam seems happier about something, although we’re not getting Chas and Dave to live with us.

I’m not sure what happened, but I know at the start of the week Mam did a video of us and our houses and where we have cuddles and the outside run and everything. Then she tried to phone Auntie Anna on Friday but didn’t get through. And now she’s going to see Auntie Sophie this week to bring back some new piggies for our empty run. Hooray!

I thought I might interview Mam with your questions. I might do that later, but I’ll answer them myself today.

1 What do you like best for food?

I like grass, and the herby things Mam gives us, and carrots. But I really like the special biscuits Mam gives us in the early evening. They’re delicious and they make me feel great.

2 What do you like the least that your mum has to do to care for you?

Like everyone else, it’s nail trimming. It’s very scary.

3 When do you get excited and make loud noises?

I very rarely make loud noises. It’s not dignified. Even when she says ‘biscuit’, I just run to the side and look interested. Okay, I sometimes stand up on the bars to look extra interested..

4 Have you always been called Roscoe?

No, it was Auntie Layla than called me Roscoe, and I think it suits me. Mam says it reminds her of Emperor Roscoe who was a DJ on a pirate radio station. I thinks that’s why we’re more or less pirates in her books .

4a Do you know if Mam changes your names or leaves them as they are.

She told me yesterday that if she brings Peanut & Pistachio home, they’re having their names changed. But I think mostly she leaves us with the names we come with, unless she’s fostering like she did with the three littlies last year, who had codenames or temporary names till they found their home..

5 What’s your least favourite food, and is there a food she really wishes you’d eat that you dislike?

Mam gives us lots of strange things I’ve never had before. She’d like us to eat all of them. Beans and tomatoes, I don’t like them but Biggles and Bertie loved them, so I try them if she offers them, but… nah. Fruit. She tries us with this stuff called fruit. I don’t like it. I’m coming around to red pepper, though.

6 Have any of you ever had to share your homes with animals other than humans and other guinea pigs? How would you feel about it if Mam decided you should, and brought something else home rather than more guinea pigs?

I think there was a dog at the last place we lived. There are dogs next door that bark sometimes. I know Mollie (and Joshua) have dogs, but I wouldn’t like them I like it’s just guinea pigs and Mam.

So there we have it. I hope we have some new people to introduce next week. At last. It’s been very depressing having an empty cage next to us.

Mam says it’s the equinox in the next couple of days. We’ve been here with all the furniture for six months. I like it here, except for missing Bertie.

Bye for now

Roscoe xxx

Neville’s turn!

Way-aye, Roscoe here.

It’s been a nice weekend, although Mam says today will be hot. By the end of the week it’ll be cool again, and autumn will be here.

I don’t know how she knows. Maybe she asks someone.

I’ve been asking someone somethings today. I heard what Mam told Auntie Noelle about Biggles. Maybe I didn’t exactly ask him politely. Well, maybe. Anyhow, I’ve asked Neville politely. Even though I had to chase him around the run to get him to stop and answer me.

Hi Neville, welcome to the blog and please would you answer my questions. Well, they aren’t my questions, mostly. Our readers asked them, so please be nice.

Okay. Although I’m always nice with Aunties.

Of course you are.

1 What do you like best for food?

Mmm, food. Grass, carrots and cucumber. Hay. Basil. Fennel. Lots of things, really.

2 What do you like the least that your mum has to do to care for you?

I hate having my nails cut. I don’t mind having my hair cut, except when she has to do around my bottom, because I’m always a bit nervous the scissors might slip.

3 When do you get excited and make loud noises?

Mostly if I think you’re getting food and I’m not. Sometimes if everyone seems to have disappeared. I get excited when it’s biscuit time but there’s no need to make loud noises to get Mam’s attention. She’s very good at that.

4 Have you always been called Neville?

No, don’t you remember? We had different names before we got left behind and those people disappeared. I can’t remember what they were, though. I like the name Neville. I think it suits me.

4a Do you know if Mam changes our names or leaves them as they are.

She didn’t change our names from what Auntie Layla gave us. I don’t think she’s planning on changing the names of the boys she gets from Auntie Anna, either. If she gets Chas and Dave, anyway.

5 What’s your least favourite food, and is there a food she really wishes you’d eat that you dislike?

I’m not keen on beans. I know Biggles adores them, but, well, I’ve started to try them. Mam gave us all sorts of funny things when we first arrived. Do you remember? We only knew cauliflower and lettuce and carrots. Then we learnt about kale – that’s yummy – and spinach, and chard and herbs, and celeriac… it’s all yummy. Pepper – still not sure about that, but I quite like it now.

6 Have any of you ever had to share your homes with animals other than humans and other guinea pigs? How would you feel about it if Mam decided you should, and brought something else home rather than more guinea pigs?

Weren’t there some other animals at the old place? I can’t remember. They made funny noises, anyway. I don’t know if Mam would get anyone other than guinea pigs. She likes birds though. It would be okay, I expect.

Thank you Nev, that was grand. You can go back in your tunnel now.

I think Mam’s taken it away to wash it.

Yes, it’s drying in the sun outside. I reckon we’ll be going out soon, too. The grass is very good at the moment. Mam says to enjoy it while we can. So I will

See you next week, everyone.


Roscoe xxx

An eventful week when nothing happened

Way-aye, Roscoe here.

It was a busy sort of week, last week, but nothing really happened.

There was a lot of banging on Tuesday and Wednesday. On the roof above us. Mam said it was people come to mend it and there was nothing to worry about. It felt like things were falling off it as well as being banged, and machine noises, too, and Mam put us in our boxes and settled us into the summerhouse with the door closed for a while. She said it was to keep us away from the noise. We went to sleep. You know, I like being in the box with Neville. He’s lovely and warm and soft. Biggles was in his box next door. I don’t know where Mam went. Back to her computer, I think.

She’s been busy this week, working on plans for the new book. Over the weekend she made some pretty pictures on her screen, then said a lot of rude words when she came back to it next morning and it wouldn’t do what it had done last night. I don’t know what it means either, I just tell you what went on. I think she fixed it in the end.

I keep promising you a description of Mam eating something called an ice cream.

It happens at the weekend. There’s a pretty jingly noise outside, and Mam gets up or rushes through our room if she’s in the garden, and goes out of the front door. She comes back with something in her hand. It’s a ginger coloured thing she holds, and there’s some white stuff called ice cream balanced on the top. And usually it has a brown stick in it. I think it always has the stick, but sometimes Mam’s already pushed it down into the ginger bit, which must be hollow, before I see it.

Then Mam sits down, and sticks her tongue out and sort of lays the white stuff on it and twirls it so it rubs off on her tongue. She does that for ages. Taking a bit of a lick and then pausing before the next one. She makes it a very pretty shape, all smooth edges and pointed at the top. Eventually the white stuff gets down to the level of the ginger stuff, and she nibbles that down, even, all the way round, At that stage you can just about see the brown stick again, but it’s covered with ice cream. Then she bites the top of that off, and goes on down, biting across the whole thing until it’s all gone.

It takes her ages, but it’s fun to watch.

We went out in the garden at the weekend. It got quite cool so we came in again, but it was nice while it lasted. Mummy’s very happy with whatever they did to the roof. I’m glad they’ve gone away though.

Oh, I went to see Dr Mark on Wedenesday. Mam told him I sometimes look a bit under the weather, and then she gives me metacam to help me get through the day. She’d checked my teeth and everything, and just wanted to make sure she hadn’t missed anything. And I agreed with her and told him there was nothing wrong that a bit of age-reversal wouldn’t sort out, but he just told her she could keep giving me the metacam when I needed it, and otherwise I was in great shape. And she asked him to check Neville’s heart and he said it was fine.

So it’s official. We’re fine. And Biggles is normal for Biggles.

See you next week. I wish this lady would come round so we could fill this cage up. Maybe those summer gifts Mam bought for all of us will turn into Christmas presents?


Roscoe xxx

An Interview with Biggles

Way-aye, Roscoe here again.

We’re all very disappointed because Auntie Anna couldn’t come to see us last week as she was too busy. She won’t let Mam have new piggies till she’s been here. Mam’s very disappointed too.

So, thank you for all your questions. This is what happened when I put them to Biggles.

1 What do you like best for food?

I like carrots best. And cucumber best. And carrot tops. Mummy doesn’t give me carrots very much, though, because she says they make me too heavy.

2 What do you like the least that your mum has to do to care for you?

I hate having my nails cut. And I don’t like it when Mummy brushes my hair up the wrong way, or delves into it to find whether there’s some hay stuck in it. I don’t really like her touching my back half much at all, really.

3 When do you get excited and make loud noises?

I don’t much. Except if it looks like I’m not getting some food when you are. I make small noises and chat to Mummy when she cuddles me, though.

4 Have you always been called Biggles?


4a Do you know if Mam changes our names or leaves them as they are.

I don’t think she’s changed anyone’s name for ages. You’d have to ask her.

5 What’s your least favourite food, and is there a food she really wishes you’d eat that you dislike?

(long pause) Chinese leaf. I don’t like the thick stalks in it. We haven’t had it for ages, though. I think I should point out to your readers that Mummy’s main aim at present is to make me starve to death.

I don’t think that’s true. Mam told me you were very heavy, though. 1.725 kgs. That’s very heavy. I’m only 1.4 kgs, and so’s Neville.

Sniff. She’s not even giving me a proper bowl of pellets now.

I think I’ll ignore that. The next one is from Mollie, who’s a dog.

6 Have any of you ever had to share your homes with animals other than humans and other guinea pigs? How would you feel about it if your Mum decided you should, and brought something else home rather than more guinea pigs?

I don’t know. Dogs make loud noises, well, the ones next door sometimes do. Mummy chases the cats out of the garden, so I don’t think she’d have them. I don’t know. As long as I still got fed and cuddled it would be okay, I expect.

Well, thank you, Biggles, for that insight into your world. And it’s only next door to mine!

If nothing else happens this week, next week I’ll give you Neville’s replies. I might interview Mam, too.

Grass. I forgot to say my favourite food is grass.

(sigh) love

Roscoe xxx

Garden party and good news

Way-aye, Roscoe here again.

We had our party on Tuesday and it was nice and sunny! Here are the photos of our new present, and the party itself.

Neville found a butterfly

Isn’t that a nice photo Mam got of Neville and the butterfly? Mam says it’s called a Red Admiral. Ahoy there, Red!

As you can tell, we had a good time. A grassy tunnel in the morning, to replace the one we’d eaten all the grass off long ago. Then in the afternoon, out in the not-too-hot sunshine, eating cake and wandering around the grass. The cake is made of mashed pellets, with added thyme and oregano, and decorated with cucumber pieces. It’s yummy!

Mam said she’s not used to making just one cake, and she automatically made enough for two. She’s put the other one in the freezer. She doesn’t know if pigs can eat defrosted pellet cake, but still.

Altogether it’s been a good week. Some nights we couldn’t sleep for the wind in the trees, and the rain on the roof, and neither could Mam.

A man came to fix the doors on the summerhouse, because they were collapsing. He didn’t mind working outside in all the winds we had. He made lots of nasty noises with something called a sander, or a saw. But the doors won’t break completely now; Mam said they were falling to pieces.

Mam put us out for a bit on Saturday before he left. It was still windy, but it had stopped raining and the ground was dry. And we inspected the doors and they look great!

But the really good news is that Mam spoke to Auntie Anna, who’s the new Sophie, and sorted out something that was a Misunderstanding. So Auntie Anna is visiting later this week, and then Mam can go over and select her new piggies! We can’t wait, but then, neither can Mam. And yet we’ve been waiting for months. Three and a half months, to be exact, since Bertie died. We miss him.

See you next week. And thank you for the extra questions. I’ll use them later when the news gets slow again. Keep them coming!


Roscoe xxx

We’re having a party!

Way-aye, Roscoe here again. Some good news for a change. It’s not my teeth, and we’re having a party.

Teeth? Yes, Mam thought I might be under the weather because my teeth were bad. She put her little finger in my mouth to feel them and said she thought the top ones were touching. I didn’t know what she meant. I realised yesterday when she put me in that straitjacket thing again, and put the horrid wires in my mouth, that she meant she wanted to look at my teeth and clip them if necessary. Well, she discovered my top teeth were so far apart she hadn’t felt both of them! And the bottom ones are fine too. So although my top front teeth are getting a little long, she says it’s not worth worrying at present.

So that’s good!

George Fred lavender cucumber birthday
George and Fred with cucumber & lavender birthday cake

Party time! We’re having a party tomorrow or Wednesday if it’s too wet. Mam says it is supposed to be wet again tomorrow but that might change.

Seems to me that every time she says what tomorrow’s going to do it’s always better, or worse, but never just like she says it. That hot weather finally stopped on Wednesday, and we had a thunderstorm. It wasn’t a really flashy, noisy one, although it did rumble a lot. Since then it’s been cooler and wet. Mam’s been out in the garden doing things whenever it’s not actually raining. She brought us some long wet grass on Saturday, which was disgusting. I think she got the message.

The Party!! Yes, the party is because it’s three years since Nev and I came down from Newcastle. Well, to Norfolk, not to here. I have to say, we like living with Mam. She doesn’t always get it right, but she tries. And we’re having a party because nobody knows when our birthdays are, not even us. And Biggles gets a party on his birthday.

Biggles leads Neville to his own cake

Mam seemed sad a lot last week, and she said she missed Bertie, and the longer we have an empty run, the more she misses him. The only answer is for the new piggies to come, and she doesn’t know why the rescue lady hasn’t let her have them yet.

I don’t know either, but I’m glad Mam is working on it. I miss having Bertie too. We need that run filled up with some new piggies. I want company!

Thank you for your questions. I’m hoping Mollie and Auntie Tori might think of some this week, and anyone else is welcome to give more. Auntie Noelle’s question is hard to answer because we’re all very quiet really, we chat to Mam, but don’t need to yell for food or anything rude like that. She’s very attentive to our needs. And she knows when we’re Looking at her, too!

See you nect week


Roscoe xxx