It’s a hard life being a guinea pig you know. You have to eat regular meals to make sure you keep your energy up.  And munch on hay to keep your digestive system going smoothly.  And to keep your teeth from growing too much.  And you have to keep an eye on the youngsters.  And put up with their nonsense.  And tell them to calm down and stop getting carried away.  That takes a lot of time and energy.

Dylan is getting above his station.  He’s not old enough to even dream of being top pig yet, but he carries on like he is.  With me, anyway.  I’ve got quite enough to think about without wondering when he’s next going to jump on me and pretend to be in charge.  I had to put up with that sort of thing from Hugo.  But when I was about 14 months old I told him in no uncertain terms that I was grown up and didn’t need to be kept in my place any more.  It took a few weeks but he finally got the message.  And now here’s Dylan, just coming up to four months old, and telling me he’s in charge!  I think not, Sunshine.

Dougall is a delightful chap.  Very polite and well-spoken.  Very soft-spoken.  In fact he hardly says a word.  He’s missing Dylan today because Mummy put him downstairs when he started pushing me about.  Yesterday Mummy put me in the cage downstairs on my own for a break from the pair of them.  They stayed upstairs.  I expect Dylan will be a bit lonely in the cage on his own.  He will have Hector and Humphrey next door though.  If he goes on the floor with them he usually tries to tell Hector he’s top pig.  Big mistake.  Hector is very kind to him though, and lets him play at top pig.  Then he puts him in his place again.  Hector is fascinated by the Ds and likes to watch them from the side of his cage.

But all this aggravation from Dylan is making me lose weight.  I don’t need to lose weight.  Mummy was a bit worried about me yesterday as I’d lost 40 grams since the weekend.  That’s why she gave me a day on my own yesterday.  I could eat my pellets and hay in peace then.  I was 20 grams heavier today.  I think she’d like to get me back to 1280 or thereabouts.  I’m 1220 today.  I was 1340 when the Ds arrived.  It’s hard work being an uncle.  I quite enjoy having some time off.  Now where did I stash that bit of beetroot?