Way-aye, Roscoe here… just.
The service here is getting terrible. Last week Mam abandoned us and left us all alone for two whole nights. It was nearly two whole days as well. I think if you added them together they nearly made two, anyway.
She gave us a packed breakfast in the afternoon and told us she’d be back after two sleeps. She did add, ‘well, about fourteen for you, I suppose’, which was just about right, I reckon. And she did turn up on Saturday morning to give us more hay, food and water.
By then we were starving. I mean, the packed breakfast she gave us in the afternoon didn’t last past midnight, did it?
So when she finally came back we weren’t too pleased with her. I mean, we are all sufferers from abandonment. We get very worried if she isn’t here. Well, Bertie and Biggles have never suffered, but Neville and I have. Nev didn’t seem too worried, to tell the truth, but I was. She tried to get round us with cuddles and cucumber, and the others seemed fine with it. But I didn’t. It’s a destruction of trust or something.
How do I know she’s not going to do it again?
Oh. She says she will have to do it several times over the next few months. And eventually we’ll move down to a new house and stay there without her for a couple of days at a time until all the moving is finished.
I call this gross negligence. Does anyone know a lawyer?
till next time…